If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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