How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
