Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
