that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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