By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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