ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
