no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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