I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
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I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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