I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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