The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
