I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
