Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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