I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
