I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
