we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
