Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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