hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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