The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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