Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
