So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
