I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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