im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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