if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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