shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour