So drunk its hurt
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.