I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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