She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.