So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
