What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
