Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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