I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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