I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize