My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
