ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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