If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
