is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
