Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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