I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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