he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i came on her dog
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
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He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
third nipple confirmed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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