Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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