In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
