The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
