You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
