I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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