my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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