dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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