He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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