I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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