i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD