I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
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Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
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People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.