i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.