You just made me feel so damn special
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.