Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize