Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
