yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
