Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
