its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
