who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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