he wants to bone in the snuggie
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
